Something about as pleasant as a good-morning ‘present’ from a new puppy found its way into my inbox this morning…and subsequently into my war-path. That thing was in fact an attempt (I should say a misguided attempt) to sell me a bumbag. A Louis Vuitton bumbag…but a bumbag no less.
Louis Vuitton Monogram Bum Bag
Now, as far as the-most-heinous-items-ever-conceived-by-man go bumbags have got to be up there in the top five, maybe even close to wrestling the top spot from the umbrage-provoking smegmatic smear on the fashion world that is the croc.
Louis Vuitton s/s 2010
There’s just something so detestable about them…in fact, several somethings. For starters they have the seemingly miraculous ability to make anyone look like a) a complete tit, and b) as if they are lugging around the garish neon remains of a still-born conjoined twin.
Sweaty Betty Run Bum Bag
And then, perhaps most disconcertingly, there’s the ‘let me fiddle with my nether-regions’ rummaging which the bumbag necessitates whenever an item is required (I have on one oh so memorable occasion been subjected to a crotch-eye-view of this retrieval technique whilst on the tube – never before have I been privy to such startling evidence of the vital need for repressed memories in contemporary society).
Marc by Marc Jacobs
In my humble, and slightly brutal opinion, they should be consigned to the shady realm of early 90’s Lycra-clad teeny-boppers and men who wear the sock-sandal-shorts combo without irony. Or the bin. Preferably the bin.
Ashish s/s 2010
The latent hatred may (and I’m being tentative here) have something to do with this…
For those of you seeking a more bumbag friendly trend review, head to styleclone, where you will learn that the bum bag is not just for casual wear (oh, no) “there are several options available to buy that would brighten up any evening outfit and greatly reduce the number of times you drop your money and phone all over the dance floor.”
I cannot wait to see someone ‘rocking’ a bumbag at a club – I’m already practising some pithy little put-downs…watch this space…