Game. Set. Match.

Another glorious day, another sporting fixture, another excuse to ogle the honed, toned and physically well-coordinated. Yes it’s Wimbledon – you’ll have to forgive me for keeping quiet on the World Cup front: static generating nylon nasties have absolutely no role in my wardrobe whatsoever (although kudos deservingly goes to Paraguay for their knockout  homage to Pippi Longstocking).

Tennis on the other hand serves up a wealth of classically chic sportif separates for the discerning fashionista (not to mention the associated accessory boom – shin pads? No thank you….chic cream fingerless leather gloves…? Well, go on then).

Think refined elegance and channel Gaultier’s take on the trend for Hermès: virginal pleating, cable knits and effortlessly stylish palazzo pants. Accessorize court-side with a visor, sweat bands and that all important ivory Birkin

For the ultimate in sports-casual sophistication embrace long-line, ankle-skimming maxis to femme-up those ubiquitous masculine shirt shapes.

FYI: Sweat (as if a Hermès girl would – could?) and rackets are an accessory too far…leave the rackets to the runways and the sweat to the pros: the key is to keep this look sleek, fresh and well away from the dreaded realm of fancy dress faux pas-dom.

Photographs courtesy of Style.com

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Bum Bags: Love or Loathe?

Something about as pleasant as a good-morning ‘present’ from a new puppy found its way into my inbox this morning…and subsequently into my war-path. That thing was in fact an attempt (I should say a misguided attempt) to sell me a bumbag. A Louis Vuitton bumbag…but a bumbag no less.

Louis Vuitton Monogram Bum Bag

Now, as far as the-most-heinous-items-ever-conceived-by-man go bumbags have got to be up there in the top five, maybe even close to wrestling the top spot from the umbrage-provoking smegmatic smear on the fashion world that is the croc.

Louis Vuitton s/s 2010

There’s just something so detestable about them…in fact, several somethings. For starters they have the seemingly miraculous ability to make anyone look like a) a complete tit, and b) as if they are lugging around the garish neon remains of a still-born conjoined twin.

Sweaty Betty Run Bum Bag

And then, perhaps most disconcertingly, there’s the ‘let me fiddle with my nether-regions’ rummaging which the bumbag necessitates whenever an item is required (I have on one oh so memorable occasion been subjected to a crotch-eye-view of this retrieval technique whilst on the tube – never before have I been privy to such startling evidence of the vital need for repressed memories in contemporary society).

Marc by Marc Jacobs

In my humble, and slightly brutal opinion, they should be consigned to the shady realm of early 90’s Lycra-clad teeny-boppers and men who wear the sock-sandal-shorts combo without irony. Or the bin. Preferably the bin.

Ashish s/s 2010

The latent hatred may (and I’m being tentative here) have something to do with this…

For those of you seeking a more bumbag friendly trend review, head to styleclone, where you will learn that the bum bag is not just for casual wear (oh, no) “there are several options available to buy that would brighten up any evening outfit and greatly reduce the number of times you drop your money and phone all over the dance floor.”

I cannot wait to see someone ‘rocking’ a bumbag at a club – I’m already practising some pithy little put-downs…watch this space…

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It’s time to kick up a shoe storm – sports stylee!

Balenciaga s/s 2010

Alexander Wang s/s 2010

With the likes of Balenciaga, Alexander Wang and Loewe proving that gym wear can be über glam (and with my shoe cupboard crying out for fresh blood) I have turned my attention to footwear. A simple way to ease oneself into the urban sports trend, and to sate the insatiable hunger of the shoe beast – two birds, one stone. Genius? Could well be.

Office: Best Foot Forward in grey leather.

Ash: Thelma buckle wedge.

Schuh: Lois lattice court patent

These Lola Hush Puppies are simply fabulous – sport-chic with a retro twist: very cute and very me. (In fact I’ve just ordered them in black – the girlish gingham swung it for me; that and the fact that I like my wardrobe to multi-task and these will satisfy me during one of my monochrome moments when I need something more casual than killer).

Designed by Laura Berry for the HP ‘Shoeperstar’ competition; they come in black (gingham trim) and purple (trimmed with cute-as-a-button florals) and are supposedly kind to feet – Give me 5 working days and I’ll be sure to let you know!

New Look: mesh sandals

Schuh: Roche perforated lace-ups

The key with this trend seems to be structure – strong with a masculine edge – head for mesh, straps and cut-aways and work with sleek and minimal styling; think skater-meets-mod a la Proenza Schouler or Wang-eqsue collegiate-chic, et voila! Sport-chic without the sweat.

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ATTENTION! March Out this Summer in Utility

Chloe s/s 2010

It is an indisputable fact that there will be a point (or many points) this season when the saccharine romance of whimsical ruffles, floaty tulle and wholesome pastels just doesn’t cut it. Enter the slick workaday styling of  new urban utility: practical shapes, seriously smart design, rough-hewn simplicity – it’s edgy, versatile and smacks of rampant glamazonian independence. Military? Sports? Right across the s/s trendosphere, utility works to rework the ordinary into something altogether extraordinary and effortlessly cool. It’s time to join the new style army.

Look for Spartan-chic a la Chloe with constructed shirting and practical detailing; skinny leather belts are all the rage – try buying too large and knot rather than buckle as seen at Stella McCartney – for a streamlined martial look par excellance.

Chloe s/s 2010

Olive, khaki, camo, sage, sand, fawn – look to the front-line for colour inspiration – drab has never been so desirable. Alternatively, offer a salute to the super-stylish Balmain and work Gladiatorial-glam in glittering bronze and gold (tarnished please).

Balmain s/s 2010

For a sporty take on the trend look to Alexander Wang’s reworked all-American sportswear for inspiration: oversized raglan-cut grey sweatshirts, varsity jackets, extended-shoulders (taking epaulettes to the minimal max) and those strangely covetable cut-away-calf knee-high socks, make for effortless undone simplicity – keep it feminine and work-ready with peep-toe wedges and leather accessories.

Alexander Wang s/s 2010

Alexander Wang s/s 2010

More inspiration? Check out the Warehouse Utility Collection at InStyle UK